I know what you're thinking, that's a lot of problems for a recently turned 21-year old to have, and i'm not here to whine and cry about it (Ok, well i've cried a little bit) If anything, i'm here to laugh about it and maybe connect with people who deal with the same crap everyday that i have to. The realisation of ''Bollocks, I haven't taken my tablets this morning'' or ''Oh my god, I just walked up the stairs and I'm out of breath''. The possibilities are endless!
90% of the time, I'm a really happy, active, bubbly human, I really am. However, this last year has been testing. Aside from major personal ex-boyfriend drama, that's another story for another time(or not) I have been in and out of the Doctor's on an almost monthly basis.
I'm not moaning, I know and am fully aware that there are people out there with worse illnesses than mine. I do not think my problems are worse than anybody else's because I know full well, they are not. I'm writing this to make people wary or just to vent really, as and when I need to.
Maybe I should run through what these illnesses/strange ailments are (I hate the word disease, sounds so dirty):
1. Under active Thyroid (Diagnosed age: 15)
Probably the most common of my weird problems, however, when I was told about I had no idea thyroid was even a thing. Didn't have a clue! All I knew is I was falling asleep all the time, I was crying all the time, my head was full of worry due to tiredness and the big give away - I hadn't had a period, and I was 15!!!
I got blood tested for almost everything, which was good, it eliminated a lot of problems but for the week I had to wait for my results, I thought I was dying. As naturally as any hormonal teenage girl would. I still remember the moment I was called in, my mum had arrived at the Doctors earlier and I met her after school. She phoned me to see how far away I was and I remember just blurting out ''Just tell me Mum, is it serious? Am I dying?'' #paranoia
Alas, Under Active Thyroid was the result. Apparently, it's hereditary, usually in the women of the family, however the only known person in my family to have it is my Grandad. I was put on tablets and had a series of B12 tablets and injections to boost my energy. B12 vitamins are prescribed to a lot of people in Spain I've discovered, but when I came to England(2015)My Doctor believed they may be damaging my liver. Following further research, this is legit, rare but legit so be careful!
The reason they thought this was because I was getting pains in my legs (watch this space)
Despite all that, my thyroid is under control now and at the level it should be, more or less. Perfection has never been my body's thing..
2. Hydratenitis Supperativa (Diagnosed age: 20)
Don't even try and pronounce it, or remember it when you try and explain to the hospital Doctor why you're on antibiotics. If you can remember it, I'm impressed.
So this is a pretty rare skin disease (still hate that word. Eugh) that is most common to develop in teenagers and people in their early 20's, me! It started with a few spots, just like normal spots under my arm, which was really odd as I NEVER had spots there before, like ever. I went to the Doctor and they suggested maybe it was my contraceptive pill so they changed it to 'Marvelon'(the reason for my current problem)
It's not as gross as it sounds, they weren't like massive boils with gross puss or anything but they were leaving scars and it was making me more insecure by the day. So I returned to the doctor and demanded an answer, and I got one. Unfortunately, they didn't have much of an answer when I asked what caused it. They assume it's hormonal and yeah, it's gone away with antibiotics and the scars are fading but if I don't take antibiotics for a few days, they're back in a flash. Awaiting further investigation when I have the energy and brain space to bring it up again!
3. Agitated depression (Diagnosed age: 20)
Yeah, didn't know this was a thing. Anybody that has/had depression knows it's not nice at all and easily misunderstood. It's a very hard condition to explain, to be so miserable and not really have a reason why. Initially, I thought it was a sign my thyroid had dropped again.
Saying that, I'd just come to the end of probably the hardest year of my life due to personal reasons that I will not bring up, and the Doctor stated agitated depression was a form of post traumatic stress disorder. It all made sense, linking it all together and I was put on mild anti-depressants, which was fine with me. He suggested therapy, but talking to a therapist never really worked for me, no different to talking with my my mum. Mum's are the best therapists.
After about three weeks, I began to feel so much better. I put off driving lessons as they were a massive stress to me at the time, and I enjoyed a nice Christmas with my family. It's now almost 6 months later and I'll be weaned off them soon. I now argue with anyone who says anti-depressants don't work. YES, THEY DO. They balance the chemicals triggered in your brain, these chemicals are called neurotransmitters and they need to be on point for you to feel...on point.
4. Pulmonary Emboli (Diagnosed age: 21)
So, this is my most recent diagnosis, pulmonary emboli, or in human language- blood clots on the lungs. Not ideal, pretty damn terrifying actually. I had been suffering with chest pains for about 4 weeks. I flew to Australia at the beginning of March and the night after we landed I was struck with an almost heart attack feeling, ridiculous amount of chest pain and serious short of breath. It lasted for about 20 minutes. I was crying down the phone to my poor mother most of the night :(
At the time, I put it down to jet lag mixed with bad indigestion, even though I hadn't eaten much. The pain didn't return for the two weeks I was there, I struggled with bad anxiety and that may have brought on the odd chest pain but nothing excruciating. After returning home, I got the same pain again, and again, I didn't think much of it. I was due in the Doctors anyway due to tendinitis in my arm, a treat from Australia, so I brought up the chest pains. He suggested maybe eating before I take my pills but if they continued to be re-assessed, but they did not continue.
That was of course, until last week, when breathing became painful and walking without getting out of breath was a major struggle. I knew something wasn't right.
Mum had been watching me for weeks, repeatedly saying ''She's not herself. She's too tired'' and all that, call it mother's intuition, but she was right. So, come day 4 of continuous chest pains, I decided to go to the walk in clinic. I was seen within and hour and I was wired up while they performed an ECG on me. My pulse was checked, my blood pressure was checked, the lot. Nothing, according to them, I'm fine. However, as lovely as she was, I'd only seen a nurse and so she thought it best I get checked over by a Doctor.
At this point, I thought I was fine, maybe just catching a chest infection or a slight cold. Despite this, I am a good girl and I did what the nurse told me. I didn't actually end up seeing a Doctor, but the nurse practitioner, who was also lovely. Now, she did this test, and I had no idea tests like this even existed, but it checks your blood for abnormalities. If it comes back negative, then FAB-U-LOUS but if it comes back negative, anything could be wrong with you. At this point, blood clots were highlighted as a possibility as I was on the contraceptive pill and had recently been on two long haul flights. Now, I was panicking, back to my 15-year-old self of thinking I was going to die, and when I asked the nurse (jokingly) if I was going to die, she laughed and said ''Not in this room you're not'', before stabbing a blood thinning injection into my stomach (still bruised) and assigning me to the hospital. Great.
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| BLEUGH. |
As I left, the medical technician turned, touched my shoulder and said ''That treatment we discussed, you will need it. I'll get these sent up to you as soon as I can'' Shit.balls.
We waited anxiously for about half an hour and just as mum decided to go for a wee, two doctors turned up to talk to me. Now bearing in mind, all day, they'd told me not to panic because I was too young for these kind of problems and blood clots were highly unlikely. WRONG! I had multiple blood clots, sorry, HAVE multiple blood clots, they didn't tell me how many exactly but moved straight onto medication etc. I was thrilled to discover I didn't have to have any more injections or drink any gross liquid, but just take tablets. I can do that, I'm so used to that, I even have a pill pot. #grandma
After running me through all the do's and don't's of my condition (Many don't's, not so many do's) I was passed onto an anticoagulant nurse to run through my medicine and more do's and don't's. No strenuous exercise (no gym), no heavy lifting (no gym), no flying (''I'm sorry, what?'')
NO FLYING?! I had booked to go to Ibiza in three weeks time! I never go away with my friends, ever, and we'd booked a trip away before we all got too busy and I can't bloody go.
To put it simply, I am very lucky to be alive. Thanks to the Marvelon contraceptive pill, a blood clot formed in my leg. In addition to this, thanks to my long haul flight, the blood clot travelled up my leg and split up into my lungs, explanation of the horrendous chest pains after both flights. It could have gone straight to my heart or head so realistically, yeah, I am lucky.
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| Last day in Australia. Tired. |
Since then, well this week, it's been a bit of a whirlwind. I haven't done much, not actively. I'm on leave from the gym, I'm in the process of trying to cancel/get refunded for my flights (it's a long, slow struggle) and I get tired and wound up quite quickly. However, i'm feeling better. Walking up the stairs isn't such a challenge and breathing is better *insert thumbs up emoji here*
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| Feeling fine in Oz. Little did I know... |
I still haven't quite figured out the purpose of this blog, but I hope that maybe I can help people or warn people. A post I put on Facebook and Instagram last week attracted some attention and several people are off to the Doctors this week. Please don't panic guys! I'm an odd one.
Signing off now. Stay healthy guys!
Zoe x
